I left Jakarta in 2007 as a college student, first to the US and later moved to London to finish my studies. Back then, I didnt really plan on staying away but life happened: I started working, met my husband (who is also Indonesian) and we had our 2 children in London.
By day, I’m a Lecturer of Strategy at Bayes Business School, and on the home front, I’m a wife and a mom to a 5-year-old daughter and a baby.
On diversity
When people ask me what I like about raising my kids in the UK, one of the things that comes to mind is exposure to diversity. I really value the fact that we all get exposed to people who come from different countries, have their own cultures or religions, and come from diverse socioeconomic backgrounds.
It’s a chance for our children to build empathy and tolerance and I love the fact that they get to experience a world where there is relatively less inequality than from back in Indonesia.
On staying connected to family and friends.
Luckily, we travel to Indonesia yearly and our parents also visit us regularly so we manage to stay close.
I also use social media to stay connected with my people, and I try to be mindful about what I post. I feel privileged to have built a comfortable life in the UK, and sometimes that comes with guilt of having more than people we know in Indonesia.
On parenting style
I’ve noticed British parents tend to be more hands-off compared to Indonesian ones. They give their kids more independence, and that’s what we try to instill in our children too. Of course, this can lead to occasional clashes with our parents, so we still pick and choose elements from both cultures in raising our kids.
On childcare (nanny)
I sometimes share moments with our nanny on my Instagram and often get questions about our relationship.
We’ve employed her for the past 4 years and she’s become an essential part of our family. Being a nanny here is seen as a qualified profession, they earn well – there are childcare degrees including first aid training.… Our nanny has our complete trust planning our kids’ days and taking them to places like museums, libraries and local playgroups. She works for us about 8 hours a day and only for the weekdays. We feel this is a much better setup for us, because we still take care of the kids the majority of the time and are not reliant on external help too much.
It’s interesting to my friends in Indonesia because trust is sometimes lacking in their relationships with their nannies. And more often than not, nannies in Indonesia do not get the recognition that they deserve. It makes me wonder why and what it would take for that to change.
On British education
Our daughter goes to public school in the UK, it’s very different from what I experienced as a child in Indonesia. What stands out to me is the emphasis on soft skills such as critical thinking, confidence and communication. That is something that was lacking when I went to school and I wonder if things have changed since then.
On community
The Indonesian community of people who work and stay here in London is not too large and since the city is big, it’s not easy to connect with one another.
About a year ago, we bumped into an Indonesian family, it turns out they were overseas students living in the nearby student housing complex. Through them, we met a few Indonesian families who are also on student programs and regularly meet with them. We’ve found those gatherings really uplifting : a chance for our daughter to speak Bahasa, learn about Indonesian culture and our religion.
On food
We’re food enthusiasts and love all cuisines! I’d say we cook about 40% Indonesian food at home and thankfully are able to find everything we need in London.
Recently, an authentic Indonesian restaurant opened near our place, which was a stroke of luck! I still miss Padang food and make sure to get my fix whenever we visit Indonesia.
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Saya meninggalkan Jakarta pada tahun 2007 sebagai seorang mahasiswa, awalnya ke Amerika Serikat lalu pindah ke London untuk menyelesaikan studi. Saat itu, sama sekali tidak berencana untuk tinggal lama tetapi semua berjalan begitu saja: saya mulai bekerja, bertemu suami (yang juga orang Indonesia) dan kami punya 2 anak di London.
Siang hari, saya adalah Dosen Strategi di Bayes Business School, namun di rumah, saya adalah seorang istri dan ibu dari putri berusia 5 tahun dan seorang bayi.
Tentang keberagaman
Ketika orang bertanya apa yang saya suka dalam membesarkan anak-anak di Inggris, salah satu hal yang terlintas adalah paparan terhadap keberagaman. Saya sangat menghargai fakta bahwa kita semua bertemu dengan orang-orang yang berasal dari negara yang berbeda, memiliki budaya atau agama mereka sendiri, dan berasal dari latar belakang sosial ekonomi yang beragam.
Ini adalah kesempatan bagi anak-anak untuk membangun empati dan toleransi, dan saya menyukai fakta bahwa mereka bisa merasakan dunia di mana ketidaksetaraan relatif lebih sedikit daripada di Indonesia.
Tentang menjalin hubungan dengan keluarga dan teman
Untungnya, kami bepergian ke Indonesia setiap tahun dan orangtua kami juga rutin berkunjung jadi kami bisa tetap akrab.
Saya juga menggunakan media sosial untuk tetap terhubung dengan kerabat dan teman-teman, namun saya berusaha berhati-hati dengan apa yang saya posting. Saya merasa beruntung bisa membangun kehidupan yang nyaman di Inggris, dan kadang timbul rasa bersalah karena memiliki lebih banyak kenalan di sini dari pada di Indonesia.
Tentang gaya pengasuhan
Saya perhatikan orangtua Inggris cenderung lebih longgar dibandingkan dengan orangtua Indonesia. Mereka memberikan anak-anak lebih banyak kesempatan untuk mandiri, dan itulah yang kami coba tanamkan pada anak-anak kami juga. Tentu saja, hal ini kadang bertentangan dengan orangtua kami, jadi kami masih memilih-milih elemen dari kedua budaya dalam membesarkan anak-anak kami.